her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
