that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
