don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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