i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize