Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
