butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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