dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
