We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
