I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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