Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
