he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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