but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sext me about skeletons
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
