Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
