Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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