Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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