Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
