i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?