hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
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He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.