I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito