yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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