Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
