Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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