I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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