So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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