is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
