btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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