I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize