I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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