So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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