i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
