He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
whose parrot is this?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
