obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize