Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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