He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
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Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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