Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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