There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
vagina is talking i cant
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize