So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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