I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did I show you my penis last night?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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