sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
