please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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