Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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