I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize