why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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