You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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