We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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