Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We need to rekindle our bromance
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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