"it" just moved
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
