I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dicks are not precious.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
