Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
