Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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