Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
