I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
