Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
