Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
