im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
