i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
