On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's never too late to be topless.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
