I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
